Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What is now, just barely, a funny story (and disgusting TMI)

Anyone who follows Gail on twitter (you can get to her feed at right) already knows a bit about my exciting incident last Friday. Here are the gory details.

[NB: There is absolutely no way to tell this story without it being way too much information. Proceed at your own risk. It is gross.]

Very early on Friday, just after breakfast, at perhaps 6:45 am, I was on the toilet for one of my many morning pees (of course, I'd already been up at least three times through the night, but apparently it wasn't enough). All of a sudden I was throwing up. Now, this came as a shock, since I haven't thrown up in at least a month. And this wasn't a paltry little dry heave. My entire breakfast was coming back to haunt me.

Because I haven't thrown up in so long, I was ill prepared. A few months ago, I wouldn't have sat down on the toilet at that time of day without also carrying a bowl along for just such an eventuality. But since I hadn't had such foresight, I stood quickly to spin around and deposit my remaining throw-up in the toilet. But anyone who has ever been inside our tiny bathroom will understand what a terrible mistake I made when I turned right instead of left.

As I turned right, with extreme speed, I bashed my face, in particular the bridge of my nose, extremely EXTREMELY hard onto the end of a towel rack that was very firmly attached to the wall and my nose did not fare well. The towel rack was relatively unscathed.

Suddenly, I was dripping what seemed like gallons of blood out of my nose directly into the toilet (along with the remaining puke, which was also strewn around the bathroom), and was absolutely convinced my nose was broken beyond repair. I managed a plaintive call of "Help me! Help me!" and Gail and Leigh rushed to my aid.

Leigh's first question was "What coming out you nose, Mama?" I was not in a state to answer, and so then she got worried, and then she got hysterical. Gail, got a towel onto my nose, and then left to get Leigh calmed down. Once Leigh was settled, Gail still didn't know what had happened, but came back to lead me to the couch, where I managed to explain the incident. Much icing of the nose ensued, as well as a call to my dad (at 5:30 his time) to figure out if I needed to go to the emergency room or wait for my doctor's office to open (Answer: If you think you may have broken your nose, but can still breathe OK, you can probably wait and go to your own doctor), and a call to the midwife to cancel our imminent appointment, and her admonition to take arnica, quickly. Throughout this recovery period, Leigh was bringing me blankets and stuffed animals and admonishing me to rest and feel better. She adjusted quickly.

I was queasy and dizzy for much of the rest of the day, and very very tired, but my doctor said my nose probably isn't broken, and if it is, it's a minor break (I'd need an xray to confirm, but don't want one due to pregnancy, and even if broken, it probably isn't bad enough to do anything about anyway. Though it would be a nice thing to hold over the kid's head later). Since then, the swelling has gone down, bruising is minimal (yay arnica!) and I mostly look like myself, though I have yet to recover from a day of missed work.

So, let this be a lesson to you. I'm not sure what the lesson is, though. Perhaps something about throwing up on the floor perhaps being better than the alternative.

10 comments:

giggleblue said...

oh, my... poor thing! that's just horrible. reminds me of a similar using the restroom and then starting to throw up story that a friend told me about her then partner's young daughter.

let's just say it was less than than your story... it still makes me cringe about the idea of motherhood to this day...

i am however happy to hear that the swelling was minimal and you aren't running around looking like owen wilson about the nose.

N said...

OOOOf, gross and painful. I'm so sorry!


(also, going to stalk gail on twitter. I'll be the one with the username she has no idea who I am.)

nutella said...

Oh no! Well, it IS a good story to hold over the kiddo's head in years to come, but I'm sorry for the pain and yuckiness. Very glad the nose isn't broken, that would have been no fun at all!

word to your mother(s) said...

Oh dear g-d! That sounds like a mild horror flick (less the cute antics of your child). Now, I don’t know much about pregnancy-induced puking, but I am a lifetime member of the easily queasy support group. I think you’re going in the right direction of not taking aim and just puking in any general direction next time (hopefully, there won’t be one).

That is rather adorable how your daughter comforted you with her stuffed animals. I hope your nose isn’t broken and that you can continue to see and breathe comfortably. That would really suck if you had to start wearing nasal strips around. Be careful, lyn!

insertmetaphor said...

Poor you! And, yes, that's a disgusting story. I'm glad you have such a caring family to take care of you.

amy said...

OMG, this is horrible! talk about finding a way to make you more nauseous! i hope you're feeling better!

Sarah said...

Not living anywhere near you, I appreciated the TMI, Lyn.

Glad you're doing better!
XOXO

eeney meeney miney mommy said...

Oh Lyn, that is just too much excitement first thing on a Friday morning. I am sorry about the nose and the puke and I hope the humor comes sooner than later. Best wishes for a speedy recovery of the nose.

giggleblue said...

i've moved...

http://perambulatelife.wordpress.com/

Vikki said...

Wow. When it rains, it pours!