tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2818569792527986659.post8583764993016176870..comments2014-07-18T02:47:43.625-04:00Comments on First Time Second Time: What we did right without knowing it, Part II (aka Accidental Economic Advantages)Lynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11122162501533289888noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2818569792527986659.post-33854675189072599712008-10-13T09:16:00.000-04:002008-10-13T09:16:00.000-04:00I'm so glad you came by Chicory!I think there may ...I'm so glad you came by Chicory!<BR/><BR/>I think there may be a couple extra economic factors that make this "opposite" economic gradient possible in lesbian families even if you don't plan it (and let's face it, most of us won't, how could you ever think of such a thing ahead of time?). One is what you mention, health insurance. In many places, we can't insure each other on family plans, so it is possible that the mom with greater economic power is, indeed, the only one with health insurance (I'm not saying this is good, obviously, just something peculiar to our families in this legal climate)<BR/><BR/>A second factor is age. Since it's harder for us to have kids, and we usually need more money than straight people to do it, we often wait longer. In our case, Gail's clock was ticking faster because she is older, but since she was older, she also had more years in the workforce. So in our case, unbeknownst to us, age was actually a useful proxy for economic standing.Lynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11122162501533289888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2818569792527986659.post-9453586992847143852008-10-12T14:59:00.000-04:002008-10-12T14:59:00.000-04:00you know what? Klove and I also did this without ...you know what? Klove and I also did this without knowing it. Klove had the higher paying job, and she was the one with the more secure job (as it turned out). We didn't think of that when we planned who would go first, except that she was the one with the health insurance. <BR/><BR/>Though I ended up getting a job that kept me away from home for long hours, her job was more demanding and then she started school which meant that I had to become the primary caregiver while she was doing school and work. <BR/><BR/>Now that I have a much lower-paying job, but one that is incredibly flexible, I'm the one doing all the pre-school volunteering and interfacing with the teacher -- to the point where no one there questions my parentage of Sassa. Which is good, because I've got nothing to prove that I'm her mother, whereas if Klove gets challenged, she's got the birth certificate to back her up.<BR/><BR/>While we move toward having a second child, it's the same story -- she's the one who needs to go back to work soon for our economic health, whereas I have the flexible job so I'll be the one doing the caring. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for articulating this!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com